Such a beautiful labor day weekend

Labor Day.

I really live in a beautiful place.

From playing beach volleyball for two hours on the beach to a late lunch under the giant redwood trees, it was an awesome day.

And yesterday I invited friends from our old work place Mattel™ for an all-day barbecue party.

I feel good. Sleepy, yes, but I feel good. I am enjoying my summer. 

I feel I'm heading in the right direction. Inviting friends into my life. Even new ones. My house is now in order and so is my yard. I'm now ready for some fun. And some conversation. And play.  And it's happening.

Running for president?

Why not. Do I have your vote? 

:O)

Feeling the calm....

The weeds in my yard are now gone and the fertilizer has done its job and now my grass is back to being green. A clean orderly yard is so calming to me.

In the past few months, something has been shifting inside me. I don't know why I am feeling this urgency and desire to take care of my home and yard, but I feel it. And I'm obeying this inner tug.

Ever since I got my kitchen updated, I've had this yearning to declutter my home. I'm Zen-ifying it so to speak. It seems to be taking a long time as I'm only doing one closet at a time... and then one room at a time. Each day I am being more and more mindful of what I keep and what I throw away. By throwing out the clutter, I've noticed the clutter in my head is also being cleaned away.

Usually this sort of tossing things out overwhelms me. But now I'm learning to discover it's reward: Peace of mind. Clarity. A place of calm. I am really experiencing that simplicity is where my heart feels most calm. I have also noticed that since i became aware of my need to have my own personal time, I have attracted that more into my life.

I am no longer coming home from work to a looming deadline.

I had such a lovely weekend. I worked on my house and yard quite a bit but I also enjoyed the pleasure of spending time with friends and family. I didn't do any freelance work this weekend and that is the magic word.

No free lance.

Without it, I concentrated on what I already have. My home. My yard. My family. My friends. My true treasure.

I woke up feeling really happy today. It was like an excited happy, like the last day of school kind of happy. Like wrapped gifts under the Christmas tree happy or like being in love happy.

I feel extraordinary happy and believe I'm exactly where I am supposed to be in my life right at this moment. I am on the right path. And I feel that something wonderfully unexpected is about to happen to me. That probably really sounds crazy. And maybe it is crazy. But I'm crazy happy and keeping my eyes open for the magic.

The home I grew up in

I grew up here.
This is the home where old famous people used to pay their visits. Henry Ford. Thomas Edison. Jack London. Luther Burbank.

It was built in 1850 by John Hendley who became a doctor in early Santa Rosa.

When I was nine years old and moved into this house, I automatically believed that the reason I lived in such an old estate was because I was going to be famous as well and people from all over the world would come to my childhood home and tour it.

It didn't hurt that my childhood home was decorated in antiques.
I ate my french toast here every morning. And I enjoyed hamburger helper casseroles for dinner nearly every night. And later, in the early 1990s, I learned to hang wallpaper in this room.

I think it was a year after we moved in, when an old lady and her son who was also very old, drove up our driveway one morning. They walked up to our door and in her thin, frail voice told us that she grew up in this house from 1898 - 1908 and before she died, her wish was to come back and visit her childhood home. And she did. She came from the state of Washington. She gave us a photo of the front of the home from 1906.

I remember her eyes danced as she walked through the different rooms remembering. In the library, she paused for a moment and said that she had signed her name from a diamond on one of the window panes as she stood out on the cellar door. She leaned and walked closer to the window and there it was. Her signature still remains there with the date 1908. Her eyes welled up in tears as she pressed her fingers against her childhood signature.

A few years later, another woman drove up the driveway and knocked on our door. She lived in our house in the 1930s. She told stories of her horse named Red who she kept down in the stables where our horses were then. The sign RED was still hanging up in the stable and we gave it to her.

We had horses, rabbits, ducks, geese, sheep, a goat and a pig and numerous dogs and cat at this house. We rode our honda 50 and honda 70 mini bikes around this property and it really was a wonderful home to grow up in.

I moved away when I was 19 but I actually returned and lived here five years ago for a couple of months in between selling my town house and moving into the home I live in now. I slept in the same twin bed I slept in as a child, though now in a different bedroom; the mattress so old that it was old when I slept in it as a child. My lower back hurt each morning from awakening. But, I am grateful for those few months living back with my mother and returning back to my roots.

Its an enchanted home.

My mother still lives here and we come here for dinners there at least every 10 days.

And one day, (regretfully) and hopefully, it will be a long, long time into the future, before the house will become empty and the lights will turn off for the last time, and I can tell you when that happens, I won't be able to bear to ever drive near this home again. My heart couldn't bare it. It is my home. My family. My life. Who I am and what I am is because of this house and what happened in these walls as a child. And someday when it becomes empty... my heart will break into a million pieces.

Welcome to my childhood home. If you come to visit me, I'll take you here. You'll love my mother and I promise you an experience you won't forget easily.

I just wish I had another 50 years to enjoy it. And maybe I will.

PS: My bedroom windows growing up was the two windows to the right of the house and the one window on the side of the house upstairs.

It's just another doodle thought

Are you ever sitting in a plane and you look out your window and wonder where everyone is?

I love it when we're flying low and about to land and I can peer down at all the swimming pools in people's backyards.

But where are all the people? Why don't I see a guy mowing his yard or a woman walking her kids to the park or the mailman delivering mail. Where are all the kids swimming in their pools or riding their bikes?

I see cars and buildings and homes and parks but I never really see actual people. From a certain distance, entire populations seem to just get swallowed up in thin air. Their cars remain, but they don't.

Is it an earth repellent safety mechanism to keep out curious peeping UFOs wondering if there are living beings on earth?

Ohhh the things I think about while laying in bed when I should be sleeping....

I'm poolside in Houston. . .

It's 9:00 tonight.

And we're lounging around on pool floaties and enjoying this gorgeous night. The home overlooks Memorial Park in Houston. A tropical storm is about to hit here in a few days. Dolly is her name. It's all over the news. But now it is calm. I have a few mosquitoes bitting at my ankles.

I am on vacation.

My camera battery is dead so I'm taking this picture off a wonderful mac pro laptop with the built-in camera.

I really love vacations. I feel so creative. I am working on a line of fabric... and I've been somewhat stumped during my regular business hours. But now that I'm on vacation, I feel nothing but creativity. I keep drawing them out with my brand new felt pen and sketchbook. I have unlimited ideas!!

I have my feet making waves in the pool and I'm watching my shadow from the sun behind me and my mind is free. I dreamed I was in the singing group The BeeGees this morning just before I woke up. And Barry's mic was off but he didn't know. I looked around the audience worried but the audience seemed to be enjoying him regardless... and I woke up relieved and smiling.

I was the female singer of the group.

That's why I love vacations. I can dream. And I dream of anything and everything.

When you're on vacation, you have all the time in the world... to dream. And I do.

I fly out of Houston tomorrow night and will stay in Dallas until early Saturday morning. I probably won't be back until I return.

Friends on facebook

I don't recall how I ever came to sign up on facebook.

I've been finding myself going on there more and more lately and typing in names of old friends and acquaintances to see if they're on facebook.

It's become a bit addicting.

"Whatever happened to Gary?" I'd wonder. "Is Scott on facebook? Cindy? Nathan? Jennifer?" I would type in their names. Some friends I haven't seen in years. We were such close friends at one point in time, and then came moves across country or marriages and we lost touch. I look there to reconnect.

Most of the time, I don't find anyone on there, but on occasion when I do find them, I select Add Friends next to their name and wait for them to confirm and accept me as their friend. Sometimes they don't show their face in the facebook photo so I can only guess if it's them or not by their name and location only.

It's like I'm 9 years old! I sit there wiggling in my seat in anticipation for them to say, "yes, I confirm we are friends!"

I feel bashfully vulnerable.

Nearly everyone confirms yes, but then there are a few I haven't heard back from. And when after a fews days have slipped by without receiving confirmation from them, a bit of an uncomfortable anquish starts to stir in me.

It's silly to feel that way. I know that. Confirming or not confirming friends on facebook does not constitute real life. So I allow those silly feelings to quickly dispurse from me.

Maybe they're not online and haven't seen my invite yet. Or that wasn't them after all .. just someone who shares the same name.

I am reminded back in time when we moved across town into another house and into a different school. I was 9 years old.

I knew no one.

So one saturday morning, feeling bored and lonely without my old friends around, I walked down past our barn and through the apple orchard and carefully climbed through the barb wire fence at the end of our property and entered the new residential neighborhood. I was determined to meet and make new friends that day.

knock.knock.

"Do you have any kids my age?" I would ask parents door to door.

Ya wanna play? I would ask whenever a kid answered the door.
Ya wanna be friends? I'd ask another.
And they always said, yes and that was that.

When I was 9, I hadn't learned that deep, all-encompassing inner space of feeling self-conscious that I feel even now.

There was never any second guessing. I simply asked and we were instant friends..

On facebook... in some sort of small way, reconnecting with friends is sorta like being 9 all over again. You can't be friends without first extending the invitation and without the other party confirming they want that, too.

By the way, this is not an advertisement. It's just me chatting nervously and squirming around while waiting back to hear from some old friends from long ago. If you'll excuse me ... I'm gonna get back online and see if they connected.

And who knows, maybe I'll see you in there, too! I hope so.

The sun sets on a 3-day weekend

Here I am pushing Kate on her cart this afternoon. I say, "put yer feet up!" And she would! And off we'd go! (Tyler was with his mom at the pool! Yeah. We were all envious in this hot weather!)

It was such a nice weekend.

I filled it up as full as I could fill it. From watching the fireworks to outdoor parties to barbecues and sitting outdoors long after the sun went down, talking about all kinds of fun and interesting topics over candlelight.

This is my beautiful mom who put on little Kate's summer hat just in time for me to snap my camera.

I got inspired by my brother and Angie's yard. So I went home and started digging up old yellow grass in my backyard to re-landscape it. I have a plan but it's just not in clear focus at the moment. But it's there. It will look beautiful once I'm done.

Can you see us in this picture? It's me and my mom and Kate. It's sorta like looking for a lost easter egg, isn't it?

What a weekend. I scrubbed and polished my bathroom so if necessary I could eat off it incase of an emergency. I painted my outdoor furniture and hanging pots. (and my grass because I used spray paint). I washed my car. I mopped my floors. I mowed and I pulled up weeds and I swept my patio. I bought groceries. I did a ton of laundry and caught up on last season's LOST. And each night between 2 and 4:30am, I'd toss and turn looking for the coolest corner of my pillowcase ... flipping it over and over and over again... laying sideways on my bed just across the sheets and remembering as a kid sleeping upstairs in hot, muggy Swansboro, (the friendly city by the sea) North Carolina in August visiting Granddaddy without air conditioning.

I love the Fourth of July. It is my favorite holiday. I usually spend it somewhere else. Within the past five years, I have spent two in Maui and one in San Antonio and two here in Santa Rosa.

A zillion years ago we spent the summer (and July 4th) of 1976 traveling across country with my mom and our next door neighbor's mom and seven of us kids and a nanny. We saw the Badlands. And Yellowstone. And Mt. Rushmore. And the nickel factory in Sudbury, Canada and we visited Toronto (including stopping in (after a long drive) at the Defranco Family's house in Welland) where Tony's father was so kind and invited us into their home and gave us the tour of their home back then and my sister still teases me to this day. Yes. It's true. I had my mom take a picture of me sitting on their toilet so I could catch their coodies.

I'm still that way!!! Cooties are good and bad. I love catching GOOD cooties. Isn't that silly? If I have a favorite friend sit in my backseat of my car.. as I step out of the drivers seat and when no one is looking, I'll scoot in and sit in that seat as my friend for just a moment to collect the coodies.

Just shoot me now.

It was a fabulous trip. We were in Williamsburg, VA that year. And Boston. And Philadelphia. And all through the Amish country. We visited relatives in Long Island and throughout Virginia and we learned to play horseshoes like riding a bike. And then then there was Swansboro. A place all of it's own. And it was the perfect year.. as we celebrated the 200th year birthday of our country.

I really want to re-experience those drives back across country again. If you never have. Please do. We really do live in a wonderful world.

Another Dick and Jane Lunch box

I loved my lunch box. Each year I would pick out a new one. I would thoughtfully pick them out as carefully as I would pick out a puppy from the pound.

When I was in the third grade, this wonderful lunch box carried more than its share of bologna sandwiches, cookies and bananas. I collected pretty rocks in this box as I zig-zagged my way home from school. It also housed school papers and artwork and was a shield from the Boriolo brothers that warm afternoon when they decided to bombard Terry and I with cherries from their aunt's front yard tree.

And who can forget the stink that would rise up from the blackened banana peel left inside the box over the weekend. Nor the sour smell from the thermos. My mom would fill it up with soap and hot water and let it sit overnight on top of our kitchen counter before filling it with Kool-Aid's Tropical Punch.

So you can imagine my pleasure when I was asked to design the second Dick and Jane lunch box for Michael Miller Fabrics. You might recall the first one I did looked like this:

It's a double-honor since I also designed all the Dick and Jane fabric. Inside this lunch box, there's enough fabric to make a lovely soft book.

This newest Dick and Jane lunch box contains a pattern and enough fabric to make a really cute Easy Breey Backsack by Lizzy B Creative and should be available in various quilt shops near you.

It's more than skin-deep

day 2

day 4

day 6

day 8

Remember when you were a kid and whenever you fell off your bike, you'd run home and cry into your mom's warm hugs and then she would kiss it and make it feel better instantly?

There's nothing more healing than a mother's healing kisses.

I wish I was that kid again.

Anyone missing a pen?

If you can't find your pen.... it likely wandered over to my house. I have never seen so many mounds of pens in one place in my life! It looks as though I've opened shop to a Pen Store.

For the past several weeks I have been gutting it out.

Sifting through all my belongings in my studio with as much joy as dental work.

I have filled up four large recycling bins over the past four weeks. I just stuff them until I can't stuff them no more. Then I wheel them out to the curb for the City to pick them up and carry it away. Then I start this intimidating task again.

I am so tired of living a disorganized life.

I am done with never knowing where anything is. It doesn't nourish my soul or my life in anyway.

I opened up a box and inside it consisted of:
• a LOBO Greatest Hits cd
• three old bank statements
• a jack-in-the-box kids meal toy of Jack himself carrying a briefcase and wearing a tie.
• several postcards from friends on vacation
• a tangle of vcr cords
• a portable cd player
• a Golden Gate bride toll receipt from 1998
• a PEOPLE magazine with The Brady Bunch on the cover
• a talking pedometer still in the box
• an old 1992 Delta airline ticket from San Francisco to Denver with a layover in Salt Lake City.
• a backstage pass at Folk Singer Dar Williams concert while in Northampton, MA over New Years 1999
• unused yellow post-it notes
• a 1970s Defranco Family Slurpy Cup
• the negatives from a photo roll from 1994
• a William Holden autograph
• a book called "Don't Worry Be Crabby!" by John Wagner
• an old address book (that still has my grandparents numbers on there as well as numerous aunts and uncles and cousins who no longer live in this world...)
• etc etc etc

That was just one box. I had so many boxes, they were just jammed inside my closet. Each box closely looking like the next one.

An incredibly old man looked inside my eyes sometime around 2002-2003 in an old junk store off of interstate 35 between San Marcos and New Braunfels, Texas and said: Know when to hold 'em. And know when to fold 'em.

I think he was talking to me about Happy Meal toys, but tonight I hear him clearly telling me this on a deeper level.

Ever since my wake-up call at the hospital early last month, I have decided to take back my life. To stop and smell the roses so-to-speak. And I have become aware that once I made that decision, I have attracted that into my life.

I need more time in my life to water the lawn. Pull the weeds around the rose bush. Fix the automatic sprinklers. I also need to get rid of clutter and have more organization in my life.

I am learning that less is more. And that when my house is free of clutter my heart and head feels most calm.

I am getting there. And yes, I'm still keeping a lot of the sentimental letters and other things that stir my heart because it connects the dots from my past to my future and that has made me who I am today.

It's a lot of work and feels like it's taking me a lifetime to go through things and then I remember it is because I am going through a lifetime.

And a lovely one at that.

NYC: First Class all the way

I am back from the Big Apple.

I really love it there! I felt so familiar with it this time around. I loved that I knew how to get around that big wonderful City. That I got it. That I understood the scope of the land. It felt empowering.

Tonight I feel the let-down of returning from a fun trip only to have lawns to water and floors to sweep and laundry to clean and a hungry belly to shop for. I am happy to have my memories to explore and relive again. But still. . .

Remember when you were a kid and you had summer vacations off?

I think that must be ingrained in all us forever.

If I were Queen of America, I would make that a law: To have summer vacations off. --Unless you love to ski and snowboard and make angels in the snow, of course.

And then you could take the winter months off and work during the summer while we sit poolside or walk along hot steamy streets of New York City or picking up sea shells off the North Carolina coast or watch the muscle men along Venice Beach or swim with the turtles off the coast of Maui....

But since I'm not Queen of America.. I will take my days off when I can and make the most of them when I have them to enjoy.

Like this past weekend.

People watching in Soho was a kick.

This was a colorful couple. I so wanted to know their story.

I got to fly first class on United Airlines and the service really was first class all the way. From the menu to the movies to the customer service. I was so happy we had such a long flight. I transformed my seat into a bed. I transformed it back again into a small restaurant. And then into a theater for one. Everyone was so kind. So interesting to talk to. It was a holiday all on its own.

Please click on a portion of the menu to see it larger.


I might be flying back to NYC with my mom over the Forth of July weekend to attend my cousin's daughter's wedding. It's still so up in the air. We really need to hurry and make our decision. If we do decide to fly out there, we'll be flying by the seat of our pants.

Just wish we could really fly by the seat of our pants.

The Big Apple

I haven't the fainest idea why they call New York City the Big Apple... but I'm going to be spending my weekend there.

I'm going to a surprise 50th birthday party here.

Kass doesn't know it yet. She lives in Dallas. Her husband is the mastermind behind all this. I think there's something like a dozen or more of her friends flying in this weekend.

I'm flying standby on United Airlines at 6 am out of San Francisco. I am taking the Sonoma County airporter at 3 am. Which means I'm going to have to wake up in 2-1/2 hours so I should start thinking of going to bed.

I have a feeling I will return sleepy, too. But filled with a fun adventure! I'll see you when I return!

Thanks a lot!

I just want to thank all of you for your educational emails over the past year.

Thanks to you, I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I can't enjoy lemon slices in my tea or on my seafood anymore because lemon peels have been found to contain all kinds of nasty germs including feces.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pass-time while driving alone is picking your nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot)

Eating a Little Debbie sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any one's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.

I must send my special thanks to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas..

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.

I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

And thanks for letting me know I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda. Singapore and Uzbekistan.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!

Oh, by the way..... a German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read blogs with their hand on the mouse. Don't bother taking it off now. It's too late.

AUTHOR UNKNOWN (i received this as a humorous email forward from my sister) and wanted to pass it along!